Adding a deck of conversation starters for married couples can transform an at-home date night…not to mention, a relationship.
My husband and I do mainly at-home date nights.
Sure, we get out on the occasional church babysitting night, or when the occasional family member flies in and offers to give us a night out (these have been such a blessing, by the way!).
But the norm? Is to create a date-night experience at home after we put our little one to bed (around 7:00 pm).
I like to grab a deck of conversation starters for married couples either when I’m rushed to put something together – my husband and I take turns planning these nights, btw – or when I’m feeling less-than-close to him because we’ve had hardly anytime to say words to one another other than logistical stuff (who picks up our son, doctor appointment time, take out the trash – you get the drill).
Conversation starter decks help us to connect in a deeper way, and we always, always, always learn something about each other that we didn’t know before (which is saying something, after 11 years of marriage and 18 years of being part of each other’s daily lives).
The only issue? Well, there’s tons of decks out there for married couples now.
Which conversation starter deck is best for you and YOUR husband?
I’m glad you asked. Faced with this same task – trying to find the perfect one for us – I decided to send away for a handful of decks and figure out which one made the most sense for the stages and ages in a relationship.
Before we dive in, let me share how we personally love to use these married couple conversation starters.
Date Night Conversation Starter Uses for Married Couples
How conversation starter decks help us keep things interesting on our at-home date nights:
- Instead of zoning out to the TV after putting little one to bed, we first pull a card from a deck and ask the other person one question. WOW has this started some interesting conversations!
- Road trips.
- While waiting for a movie to start at the movie theater (on a dinner-and-a-movie-date).
- Leave one in his lunchbox, and he texts me his answer sometime during the day.
- On a coffee-shop date, or on a park date.
Just a few ideas! Now, let’s move onto my review of the best conversation starters for married couples.
Best Conversation Starters for Married Couples
What are good topics to talk about with your husband?
Well, nearly every conversation starter deck includes questions around sensuality, parenting, marital roles, past life (aka, before marriage), childhood events, wishes and desires, fears and insecurities, etc.
But how to know which deck is for you and your special one?
I’m going to breakdown my review of popular conversation starter decks this way:
- Best intimate conversation starters for couples
- Best fun/funny conversation starters for married couples
- Best deep conversation topics for couples
Best Intimate Conversation Starters for Couples
Intimacy with another person is defined as, closeness with a partner, including feeling close emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.
Based on that, I’ve chosen the following decks as the best conversation starters for married couples to grow in intimacy together.
My husband and I have been married for 11 years, so I was delighted to find that there’s actually a set of conversation starters for couples who have been married over 10 years!
Not only that, but they were:
- Created by a licensed psychologist
- Include both conversation starters AND Do/Act/Experiment prompts (behavioral techniques)
And let me tell you, some of these are pretty intimate questions and experiments.
Things like asking your partner for the most meaningful thing you’ve ever said to them (I can rattle off about 5 things in my head immediately after reading that question, each of which Paul would love to hear), naming a spiritual goal for the two of you to complete together, and discussing how your partner handles and regulates their emotions.
And then there are the kind of questions you could only answer after observing and reflecting on your spouse and relationship over a long period of time.
- What indicators can alert you to increasing tension between the two of you before you’re both upset? For example, do you avoid eye contact? Make a list.
- Write down ideas for your 20th, 30th, 40th, and 50th anniversary celebrations. Also, write down a goal you want to achieve before your golden jubilee anniversary.
- What is helping you maintain good boundaries with any toxic relatives in your family? Am I doing a good job in supporting you?
What is your favorite sensual memory from when we were dating? How can we recreate it more often?
How does our relationship enhance your spiritual journey?
These questions are just vital to keeping a marriage thriving, and to help bring a couple close together again.
Haven’t been married for 10 years? Not to worry – she’s got a deck of conversation starters for newer relationships, too!
Get help building intimacy by:
- Lighting a candle and looking into each other’s eyes in silence.
- Forgetting that you are committed and acting as if you just started dating your partner, then planning a unique date night from this mindset.
Also, lots of conversation prompts to help build (and repair) the foundations of your marriage:
- How do you think my love for you will evolve over our lifespan?
- How do you feel when I apologize to you? Does it come across as genuine? How can I improve my apology style?
- How do you like to be soothed by your partner?
Best Fun/Funny Conversation Starters for Married Couples
Just want to cut loose and have some fun with your partner?
I hear you.
That’s why I’ve voted this particular deck as containing the fun/funniest conversation starters for married couples.
141 Outrageous Conversation Starters for Couples
Crated with Love is our #1 favorite date night subscription box provider (here’s my review of the best date night subscription boxes).
And they just released their own deck of couples conversation starters!
What I love about these?
Well…they’re pretty darn creative (and funny).
Try to keep a straight face while asking/answering questions like:
- What mythological creature best describes our love life?
- In a zombie apocalypse, what would be your weapon of choice?
- If you could make one of your body parts robotic, what would it be and why?
But don’t worry. There’s plenty of relationship-building questions as well.
- Tell your partner one thing they do that makes you happy, in poem form.
- What song makes you think of me when you hear it?
- What’s a fear that sometimes gets in your way?
Best Deep Conversation Topics for Couples
Want to enter the deep conversation waters with your spouse?
My vote for this would have to be the BestSelf Intimacy Deck.
This deck of couple’s conversation prompts is divided up into:
- About You
Here’s a sampling of questions that will provoke deep conversations with your spouse:
- What’s something you thought when we first met that you no longer believe to be true?
- What makes me different from the other people you’ve been with?
- What’s one thing about your life you’d never change for me or anyone else?
- What did you learn about money from your parents?
- What’s something that you’ve never admitted to anyone else?
Best Date Night Conversation Starters for Couples
I’ve got a great deck of conversation prompts for you.
These cards offer a great mix of questions to help the two of you get to know each other much better.
- Have you ever won an award?
- If you had $5,000 you must spend, how would you spend them?
- If social media didn’t exist, how would your life be different?
- Whose relationship most inspires you?
As my husband and I try out new decks of conversation starters for married couples, I'll post new reviews here. In the meantime, I hope these help you build intimacy, fun times, and an even better relationship!
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