Best Deep Conversation Starters for Married Couples (for Fun & Intimacy!)

Deep conversation starters for married couples can transform an at-home date night…not to mention, a relationship.

Deep conversation topics for married couples are one of the best ways to continue learning about one another and keep things intimate.

couple smiling at each other, playing with a deck of conversation starters, text overlay "best conversation starters for married couples"

But the logistics of everyday life – who is picking the child up from gymnastics, what to stick on the grocery list, when the washer repairman is coming – has a way of taking over our conversations.

To the point where it feels like all you're talking about with your spouse is surface-level, and you're never really getting to those deep conversation topics that build and grow your intimacy.

Let's change that.

Deep Conversation Topics for Married Couples

First, I want to outline some of the best deep conversation topics married couples should try to keep things growing and build emotional intimacy with one another.

Personal Life Lessons: What's one lesson you feel you've had to learn over and over again in your life?
Couple Wins: Name a “Couple Win” in the last 5 years that you're personally proud of and tell your buddies/family about.
Outside Perspectives on Your Relationship: If a relationship expert reviewed a vlog covering your marriage all last week, what would they say about it?
How You See One Another: What is one thing about your spouse that's surprised you?
Clues from Your Shared Past: What's something you loved and miss about the beginning of your marriage?
Clues from Your Personal Past: Why do you think your last relationship didn't make it, and what was your part in that?
Life Challenges: What's one thing challenging you right now outside of the marriage that you haven't had time or energy to discuss with your spouse?
Parenting Together: What's one thing you see in your child(ren) that you see in yourself, and one thing you see in your child(ren) that you see in your partner?
Physical Intimacy: Tell your partner about your favorite love-fest together, and why it was so special to you.
Coupledom: What's one strength your partner has that you don't have that's helping shape you guys into a power couple?

Juicy, guys. Juicy.

And there are so many more – let's talk about our favorite Conversation Starter Decks for married couples, each of which includes topics around sensuality, parenting, marital roles, past life (aka, before marriage), childhood events, wishes and desires, fears and insecurities, etc.

Best Conversation Starters for Married Couples

author photo with five couples conversation starter decks propped on top of each other

Conversation starter decks have helped my husband and I to connect in a deeper way, and we always, always, always learn something about each other that we didn’t know before (which is saying something, after 11 years of marriage and 18 years of being part of each other’s daily lives).

Which conversation starter deck is best for you and YOUR husband?

I’m glad you asked. Faced with this same task – trying to find the perfect one for us – I decided to send away for a handful of decks and figure out which one made the most sense for the stages and ages in a relationship.

I’m going to break down my review of popular conversation starter decks this way:

Best intimate conversation starters for couples
Best deep conversation topics for couples
Best fun conversation starters for married couples

Best Intimate Conversation Starters for Couples

Intimacy with another person is defined as feeling closeness with a partner emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Based on that, I’ve chosen the following decks as the best conversation starters for married couples to grow in intimacy together.

Life Sutra Couple Reconnect Cards

My husband and I have been married for 11 years, so I was delighted to find that there’s actually a set of conversation starters for couples who have been married for over 10 years!

Not only that, but they are:

Created by a licensed psychologist
Both conversation starters AND Do/Act/Experiment prompts (behavioral techniques)

And let me tell you, some of these are pretty intimate questions and experiments.

Things like asking your partner for the most meaningful thing you’ve ever said to them (I can rattle off about 5 things in my head immediately after reading that question, each of which my husband, Paul, would love to hear), naming a spiritual goal for the two of you to complete together, and discussing how your partner handles and regulates their emotions.

And then there are the kind of questions you could only answer after observing and reflecting on your spouse and relationship over a long period.

Like…

What indicators can alert you to increasing tension between the two of you before you’re both upset? For example, do you avoid eye contact? Make a list.
Write down ideas for your 20^th, 30^th, 40^th, and 50^th anniversary celebrations. Also, write down a goal you want to achieve before your golden jubilee anniversary.
What is helping you maintain good boundaries with any toxic relatives in your family? Am I doing a good job in supporting you?
What is your favorite sensual memory from when we were dating? How can we recreate it more often?
How does our relationship enhance your spiritual journey?

These questions are just vital to keeping a marriage thriving, and to help bring a couple close together again.

Life Sutra Couple Connect Cards

Haven’t been married for 10 years? Not to worry – she’s got a deck of conversation starters for newer relationships, too!

Get help building intimacy by:

Lighting a candle and looking into each other’s eyes in silence.
Forgetting that you are committed and acting as if you just started dating your partner, then planning a unique date night from this mindset.

Also, lots of conversation prompts to help build (and repair) the foundations of your marriage:

How do you think my love for you will evolve over our lifespan?
How do you feel when I apologize to you? Does it come across as genuine? How can I improve my apology style?
How do you like to be soothed by your partner?

Hint: Here are 36 questions created by psychologists Arthur Aron, Ph.D. and Elaine Aron, Ph.D. that help couples fall in love to begin with, or fall back into love. Might want to give them a shot!

Best Deep Conversation Topics for Couples

Want to enter the deep conversation waters with your spouse?

My vote for this would have to be the BestSelf Intimacy Deck.

BestSelf Intimacy Deck

red and white deck of Best Self Intimacy conversation starter cards for married couples on bamboo desk

This deck of couple’s conversation prompts is divided up into:

Past
Random
Life
Relationship
Intimacy
About You

Here’s a sampling of questions that will provoke deep conversations with your spouse:

What’s something you thought when we first met that you no longer believe to be true?
What makes me different from the other people you’ve been with?
What’s one thing about your life you’d never change for me or anyone else?
What did you learn about money from your parents?
What’s something that you’ve never admitted to anyone else?

Best Fun Conversation Starters for Married Couples

Just want to cut loose and have some fun with your partner?

I hear you.

That’s why I’ve voted this particular deck as containing the fun/funniest conversation starters for married couples.

141 Outrageous Conversation Starters for Couples

Crated with Love is our #1 favorite date night subscription box provider (here’s my review of the best date night subscription boxes).

And they just released their own deck of couples conversation starters!

What I love about these?

Well…they’re pretty darn creative (and funny).

Try to keep a straight face while asking/answering questions like:

What mythological creature best describes our love life?
In a zombie apocalypse, what would be your weapon of choice?
If you could make one of your body parts robotic, what would it be and why?

But don’t worry. There are plenty of relationship-building questions as well.

Like:

Tell your partner one thing they do that makes you happy, in poem form.
What song makes you think of me when you hear it?
What’s a fear that sometimes gets in your way?

Our Moments – Sexting

Do you want to have fun…in another way?

Our Moments has created a whole conversation deck based around sexting one another. These are too spicy for me to even give examples of <wink, wink>.

Best Date Night Conversation Starters for Couples

Not married?

I’ve got a great deck of conversation prompts for you.

Our Moments – Conversation Starters for Great Relationships

These cards offer a great mix of questions to help the two of you get to know each other much better.

Questions like:

Have you ever won an award?
If you had $5,000 you must spend, how would you spend them?
If social media didn’t exist, how would your life be different?
Whose relationship most inspires you?

Ideas for Using These Conversation Questions for Married Couples

My husband and I mainly do at-home date nights.

Sure, we get out on the occasional church babysitting night, or maybe once a year a family member flies in and offers to give us a night out (these have been such a blessing, by the way!).

But the norm? Is to create a date-night experience at home after we put our little one to bed (around 7:00 pm).

I like to grab a deck of conversation starters for married couples either when I’m rushed to put something together – my husband and I take turns planning these nights, btw – or when I’m feeling less-than-close to him because we’ve had hardly any time to say words to one another other than logistical stuff (who picks up our son, doctor appointment time, take out the trash – you get the drill).

How conversation starter decks help us keep things interesting on our at-home date nights:

Instead of zoning out to the TV after putting our little one to bed (here are 14 things for couples to do besides watch TV), we first pull a card from a deck and ask the other person one question. WOW has this started some interesting conversations!
Road trips. There are tons of fun adult things to do on a long car ride, and bringing along a deck of these cards is one of them.
While waiting for a movie to start at the movie theater (on a dinner-and-a-movie date).
Leave one in his lunchbox, and he texts me his answer sometime during the day.
On a coffee-shop date, or on a park date.

Has real life gotten so in the way that you've lost touch with talking (I mean, really talking) to your spouse? As my husband and I try out new decks of conversation starters for married couples, I'll post new reviews here. In the meantime, I hope these help you build intimacy, fun times, and an even better relationship!

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Amanda L Grossman

Personal Finance Writer and CEO at Frugal Confessions, LLC

Amanda L. Grossman is a writer and Certified Financial Education Instructor (CFEI®), Plutus Foundation Grant Recipient, and founder of Frugal Confessions. Over the last 13 years, her money work has helped people with how to save money and how to manage money. She's been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Kiplinger, Washington Post, U.S. News & World Report, Business Insider, LifeHacker, Real Simple Magazine, Woman's World, Woman's Day, ABC 13 Houston, Keybank, and more. Read more here or on LinkedIn.